ETV goes shopping - Scene one - in The Model Shop

Scene: a model shop in the city outskirts

(knock at door)

Shop assistant:  Oh no, I think it’s that horrible man from that weird television station again. We sold him a Lana, a Tia and a Nikita a couple of years ago. Those were the days. Real quality. Fantastic workmanship. They don’t make them like that any more.  If we keep quiet and hide in the cupboard, he might think we’re closed and go away again.

(more persistent knocking at door)

SA: Damn. We’ll have to let him in or he’ll have the door down. (opens door)

Mr ETV (for it is he): I wonder if you can help me. I’m desperate. I need ten girls quickly. We haven’t enough left to fill all the programme slots. I’ve trawled round all the shops in the city centre, and they’re either out of stock or they say it’s a discontinued line.

SA: You could be in luck, sir. We’ve just had a new delivery in. Any particular size or colour?

ETV: No, that doesn’t matter, but they need to be good lookers.

SA: No problem. We should be able to do you eight of those. Anything else?

ETV: Yes, they need to be intelligent and have personality…..

SA: I think we can still find six who fit the bill.

ETV: ……and to speak two or three foreign languages……

SA: That reduces it to three, I’m afraid.

ETV: ……..and they need to be willing to take their clothes off.

SA: Ah! I’m afraid that doesn’t leave anybody who matches all your requirements. Sorry. Tell you what I can do, though, since it’s you. We’ve just had a new batch of plastic dolls in. They’re amazing, very realistic and cheaper than the real thing. They have flexible limbs so you can fix them in any position so they don’t move. They come complete with terrified expression and wrapped from neck to toe in clothes that are stuck on with superglue, so they can’t come off by mistake. And best of all, if they’re touched by a female human being, they shout “Help, mummy,” and collapse into a heap, crying real wet tears.

ETV: Sounds like just what I’m looking for. I’ll take all you have. If I go back empty-handed I’ll lose my job. You don’t want to be a moderator by any chance, do you?
 

hehe

@ bellerophon. Steal my ideas ? Never -)))

Maybe you need one for Part Three. The 'End-Of-Season-Sale'

Rolling On The Floor Laughing.

Ah yes !

But as ever Mr ETV had visited the wrong shop.

New stock is always hard to find. The first port of call should always be the second-hand one. A reconditioned model with a few miles on the clock but with a tried and tested pedigree works every time.

Plenty of names spring to mind there -))