Quick, pass the barf bag

This is a new abbreviation to aid the brevity of posts:

QPTBB - Quick, Pass The Barf Bag

I'll explain to you what a barf bag is by a quick tale of my Aunt Hilda and the first time she traveled by air. As she took her place on the plane, she commented on the contents of the pocket in the back of the seat in front of her. "Isn't it nice of them to provide this little brown bag for my knitting"

We all like lists so, in reverse order, here is my current top ten when a barf bag should be kept at close quarters.

10. Hans comes on to the set. Still has not acquired that new blade for his razor. This one used to be much higher in the list. Proof indeed that there is much worse at present. (Note that this was written before last night. Maybe the models felt sorry for him and had a whip-round)

9. Digital artifacts behind the strip curtain. Already moving down the list due to increased medication. Sometimes now it is even watchable.

8. Multiple video images and quick mix/cutting. Guaranteed to cause your eyeballs to rotate and fall out of their sockets. As you grope aimlessly in order to retrieve them, you suddenly remember that the chicken vindaloo was not a good idea after 10 pints of beer.

7. Any camera shot of the VIP plasma for longer than five seconds.

6. Gia

5. Un-necessary intrusion on to the set of any regie, moderator, camera-person or the like whether they be playing football, trying to dance or just making a complete arse of themselves.

4. Arabic-speaking mod pretending to be a man

3. Arabic-speaking mod and his rendition of the Thracian war dance - don't look at your partners. Just hold your head at 45 degrees and admire your reflection in the mirror-ball.

2. Arabic-speaking mod pretending to be a woman - blonde wig and Julia's last donation to the Oxfam charity shop.

1. Arabic-speaking mod still pretending to be a woman but now following Hans' example in not shaving. But for this specimen (only to be served with gravy and mushy peas) it's his legs.

In the present climate, positions 1 to 5 are not negotiable.

It seems the hybrid reads this site, he/she has put some pantyhose on. :))))))))))

Please someone kick his ass.