A game of two halves

This will be long. But it has been a long weekend.

In August 1968, the Soviet Union invaded Prague. Almost 20 years after, in the best tradition of the Three Musketeers, there was another invasion from Eastern Europe. This time headed by its queen and court jester.

The mission ? Was it to spread the cause of this tv into new territories ? Would the patrons of that club prefer to watch this rather than the usual handy-shandy material which one could see they viewed if you looked in on the web stream ?

Or was it more of a promotion for the club ? Would the viewers be so impressed by the set-up that they would be falling over themselves to be the next wearers of the red robes ?

Stay tuned for the answer at the end of the game.

So let the game commence. The referee blows to start the first half.

For day one, my respect to Kaleya. Taking this on, she was on a hiding to nothing. And in the best tradition of ETV nothing will ever run smoothly. Let’s consider the evidence.

1. She thought the sound was missing at her first intro. It was not exactly fine as we could hear her but not the club manager who failed to get his message across TWICE

2. Probably not her fault. Remember now that this was live but explain to me how the plaster cast being applied to her body suddenly disappeared when she interviewed one punter. And then we could see the plaster being re-applied from the start.

3. Explain to me why they needed a phone to hear sound that should have come through the tv screen they could see. Eventually, the battery would run somewhat flat which could not be said for the guy getting a very visible stiffy as he talked to Sabrina.

4. Auntie Kaleya used all her vast experience of the Barbie shows to devise the party games which I am certain you would never see there on a normal day. And beg for the SMSs to decide the winners so that you would get the bonuses which, of course, you never got.

5. She made great capital out of the fact that one of the ‘models’ in the club had the name of Nikita. The namesake’s ‘best friend’ looked really impressed by this.

6. She also managed to interview most if not all the punters present. Wasn’t it convenient that there was one there that could speak English. One German. And another Italian. And do you not find it strange that each of these punters was present there throughout the night. You could even see them on the live stream being ‘instructed’ by Auntie of how the show would proceed. Call me suspicious but to me these guys were laid on for the evening rather than being laid which tended to happen in the rooms ‘upstairs’

Throughout the evening the girls back home, unfortunate enough to have put their names on to the schedule for the night show, looked on in a mixture of amazement and bewilderment. More than once, a look of total boredom could be seen until they realised that the live camera was on them.

On the other side of the tv screen, Auntie Kaleya remained the true pro. Even through the cock-ups. And speaking of cock-ups was Vicky so impressed that she forgot that she should not have been filming that and only zoomed in close as the baby elephant threatened to make an appearance.

The referee now blows for half-time. The girls can now suck on their lemons or whatever else took their fancy.

It was a long walk over the Charles Bridge to the start of the second half.

When it was announced that ETV would be broadcasting from Big Sister on a Saturday night, many a thought went through my little mind. After all a quick look at their web page would discover what ‘entertainment’ they put on this evening. And when Auntie Kaleya confirmed this the previous evening, many a question had to be answered least of all “How the feck could they show this ?”

Once again, the plea goes out for SMSs. You can see it now. “Can the guy with the six-inch schlong go over to the blond with the big bazookas and give her one”

Of course that was never going to happen unless Miss Vicky was not so careful when pointing her camera in the general direction of the Olympic sized swimming pool.

Or unless Miss Vicky was not so careful when Auntie Kaleya encouraged one guy to remove his towel and almost reveal the baby elephant.

Auntie Kaleya did inherit one twerp who was clearly there only for pocket-billiards but thought she was part of the show. Could not understand a word of English and the interpreter was no-where to be seen.

So what did your typical ETV viewer learn from the experience of the Big Sister Swing Party. Well with the almost total lack of action, there would be hardly any encouragement to take a journey and visit the club. And even the ‘enthusiasm’ of the etv girls for this setup would hardly change this.

And this is where the lie lays. In theory, once you part company with your 10 euros you could be entertained for free upstairs or if you are even luckier pull someone at the party. But here lays my suspicion. These people are little more than actors. Most will be invited guests and they perform for their own internet stream. Joe public, if his face does not fit, is courteously directed to the private club in the same building where the entertainment would certainly cost more than 10 euros.

I could be wide off the mark but if no action is shown then no impression can be given. And the invited guests look somewhat bemused by this strange woman interviewing them and organising party games. I’m sure that was not the sort of party they were hoping for.

The final whistle blows. Was there a winner for this game ?

Has Big Sister been provided the promotion it was looking for ? Can it expect a surge of subscriptions on the strength of this ? Somehow I think not.

So has ETV profited from this experience. Well if they paid their own costs to set this up. If it is likely that their own income sources actually fell over these two evenings, they have to claw it back somehow. That will hardly come from sponsorship from the club.

Their concept appeared to be based that their viewers were genuinely interested in strip clubs-cum brothels or what was the rationale behind swinging. The volume of diverted calls (the probable reason for the phone) or SMSs destroyed that notion.

It was an even longer walk over the Charles Bridge after the party. I was reminded that Prague is now quite an important player in the making of international films. And one that was made there sums it up in two words “Mission Impossible”

So for this long weekend, you have had (hopefully) the humour. You have had the serious in-between-the-eyes message. But the show is not over ‘til the fat lady sings’. So here are a few specially modified verses of a popular, and for last night, topical, song.

Would you like to swing with a star
Carry etv home and ferther afar
All the way to Praha
but do you now feel a fool

A fool is an animal with little between the ears
Almost talks sense after a few beers
We'll take the show on the road
Then watch the idea implode
We need to go back to school
This idea just is not cool

Oh would you like to swing with a star
Carry etv home and ferther afar
All the way to Praha
but do you now feel a jerk

And all the monkeys are not in the zoo
Last night we saw quite a few
So you see it's all up to you
All the way to Praha
To be swinging with a star
 

has my opinion, this is a huge advertisement for bs and etv
because bs paid etv to be released
This allows a bs to be known throughout Europe and Arab countries through the dissemination of etv on 3 satellites and thus allowing a etv fill out a little its funds.

"Brevity is the soul of wit" or "Keep it simple, stupid."

That's my advice for the writers of long-lasting posts. Maybe somebody must reduce these posts to "the meat and potatoes". 

BTW I can't find neither brevity nor wit in these posts.

Just to throw in my 2 Cent:
First remark is a question to Mauro: Is there a way to limit the length of posts? I have a strong feeling that someone, I don’t want to mention names here, is trying to beat the Encyclopaedia Britannica in length …
Now for the show:
To keep in line with the given theme: The star showed that it is still shining, but it wasn’t allowed and most probably not willing to swing. This perfectly summons up the whole problem of the show. The kind of entertainment etv and BS offer are very different. Etv is in the teasing business. Where its service ends, BS starts. So the qualities of the models are very different and not compatible. While etv’s models are leaving the impressions of nice girls who might get a little bit raunchy when the right guy is on the phone (and only there), BS models are clearly focused on the next fuck. So it was very difficult for BS girls to tame down to etv standards and they were very boring doing that.
So was this a good show? In my opinion, it wasn’t.
Could it have been a good show? Yes, but only if BS would have been allowed to stick to their business and etv’s delegation would have been involved in that.
As it is unquestionable that BS standard is far too hard for etv and a involvement of the etv girls is neither very likely nor very appreciated, my advice would have been to resist from doing that shows.
But nobody asked me …