Advice to travellers visiting Molvania for the first time

An occasional series aimed to assist all prospect visitors to guarantee them a successful visit

No 1 - The Restuarant

Picture the scene. Your first night in town. Your company is perfect and thoughts go through your mind not to say anything, or do anything, to ruin the evening. The main course arrives and not wishing to appear the foreign 'plonker' you politely blow on the food as you know that anything too hot in your mouth would cause you to make silly jestures as the skin of the inside of your mouth was burnt off the bone of your jaw.......

But something is wrong here. Your table guests are already smiling and you now think that the little blow could hardly have affected the food so much. You should have known better. In a country where their most famous 'soup' is actually a 'yoghurt' and is served cold (I would hate to think what that would taste like if it was served hot) it follows that food is not served even remotely hot.......

And you now wonder how that simple advice translates to your enjoyment of the main course should you visit the restaurant during daylight hours. The menu looks promising enough. Many well known dishes are available. Dishes that you should simply have to blow on gently for the taste that you expect. However, in the best traditions of the country, the food is not served hot. Just like the real thing, it takes a little getting used too. For many they should eat elsewhere as it will never be to their taste and verbal indigestion is as bad as the stomach variety.

Since I suspect that I speak in a language that many of you do not understand, the next bit will be a little more down to earth. So if you tune in during the day and expect to see tits and ass then you will in future be disappointed. If you wonder whether the models are disappointed that they cannot show their tits or wiggle their ass I suspect not. Like their employer, all they will worry about is that their level of earnings is not affected by this. The consenus here is that the models have to show their tits or wiggle their ass to get a tidy income from this. The reality may well be very different.

The last time I travelled there, the dishes were served very hot. Must have been different times. Does anybody else remember standing in line and finaly don't geting served as there was no seat left? Did anyone experience that lately?