Shamus gets a new job
Shamus was always ready for a challenge. After leaving his work as moonlighter cum cement-mixer in his home town of BenefitsComeEasy he sought out new pastures.
The advert in the newspaper was just what he was looking for. "Mixer required - no experience necessary"
When he arrived for his interview, he realised that the job was for a vision mixer but was assured that he would have no worries.
All you need to do is remember what these buttons are for on this mixing panel.
This one moves the camera in and out. Ah, said Shamus, just like the pump on my bicycle
And this one ? That has lots of clever transition effects, rolling picture, dissolves etc
And this one ? Ah. That turns the camera light off so the picture is almost dark
And this one allows you to select any camera you want to. Even one that is pointed at a light bulb
So all you have to do for 5 hours is press any of these buttons you like. We call it art. And the more buttons you can press at the same time, the better the art is.
But said Shamus what is this big button for ? Whatever you do, do not press this one. That kills all the special effects. It resets all the cameras so that they show an even picture and the light is oh so perfect. Press that one and you would not need a job.
